In a word, no. I don't think I'm over-reacting. The stick is the conduit between the driver and the car. . . no getting around it. The dealer has mentioned that there are aftermarket fixes, and used Hondata by name. Rather than offer to buy it for me, they warned against using it, for the reasons explored above. Plus, I actually bought an extended warranty, something I never do.
As to a couple other things, rev hang will not prevent a mis-shift, and no, I did not test drive this car. The salesman and I had driven two others, both of which had the rev hang, and this one had just come in, never having been driven, other than off the truck.
In fairness, I had no idea rev hang would bother me this much either, but it does. Think about it, I could have had a GTI SDG or Mazdaspeed 3 for about the sanme money, and how many times do you shift in an average drive, each shift acting as a reminder? Knowing that this is not how a transmission should behave?
I also know that you intend to be helpful, WhiteFG4.
I'm sure that Honda will do the right thing, one way or another. It is a very good company, selling very good cars. We will work this out.